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But, ugh, the smell—stale beer and desperation? Gross af. I’m, like, “This ain’t glamorous, hunny!” I wanted drama, not stank. Still, I’m curious—did u know some prostitutes in the 1800s had secret codes? They’d wink twice or some shiz to signal clients. I’m dying, that’s so extra! I’m, like, “Teach me, queen!” She’s all, “Nah, u too loud,” and I’m cackling—me, loud? Totes fair.

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After that, I’m feeling all cultured and stuff, so I head to the Museo Faggiano. It’s this cool spot with ancient ruins. But, OMG, the stairs! I’m huffing and puffing like I just ran a marathon. I get to the top, and it’s worth it. The view is killer! But then, I see a pigeon. And not just any pigeon. This one’s eyeing me like it wants my sandwich. I’m like, “Back off, bird!”

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