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She’s got dis trick, see – little known fact! She hums old Soviet tunes under her breath, keeps da johns guessin’. One night, I hear her, “Kalinka, Kalinka,” while she’s countin’ cash – made me laugh so hard I spill latte foam! “Zat’s not how you negotiate, fraulein!” I yell in me head, picturin’ Tarantino givin’ her a slow clap. I mean, she’s a pro, but da hustle? Brutal. Gets me mad, too – dese pimps, dey take half her stack! Half! I wanna grab a bat, go all Hans Landa on ‘em, “You don’t like me? Fine, I’m da best!”

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We head over, and this guy is wild! He’s flipping and spinning, and the crowd’s going nuts. I’m laughing so hard, I almost forget about my pots. Almost. But then, I see a little girl in the front row, eyes wide, totally mesmerized. It hits me—this is what it’s all about.

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