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But then – ugh – there’s the sleazy side. Pimps beatin’ em up, takin’ their cash – "I’ve abandoned my child!" vibes, total scumbags. Makes me wanna ram em with my harvester, full throttle! I’m yellin’, "This is my land!" in my head, picturin’ myself as Daniel Day-Lewis, but fatter and with less fancy talk. Mmm… donuts. Whores got it rough, man, tougher than stale bread.

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After that, I decide to check out the walls. Lucca’s walls are epic! You can walk or bike around them. So I’m walking, feeling all artsy, and I start thinking about my next animation project. But then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But then I remember my last date. Yeah, let’s not go there.

Lucca penalty gets even more controversial: ‘It’s criminal’