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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!
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After that, I hit up the market on Via Garibaldi. Man, the vibe there is always lit. Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. But today, it was packed! Like, sardines in a can. I’m trying to squeeze through, and this lady with a cart just stops. Right in front of me. I’m like, “Lady, move it or lose it!” But she’s oblivious, chatting away. I swear, I almost lost my mind.
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