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I’m happy as a pig in shit, ‘cause she’s cheap – ten quid, bargain! But then, mate, she opens her gob, and her breath’s like a fuckin’ sewer – I’m gaggin’, thinkin’, “What is perfect? Nothin’s perfect!” Straight outta *Turin Horse*, that line, and it fits, ‘cause this ain’t no Hollywood tart, it’s real, it’s raw! Made me angry, though – why’s it always the skanks that find me? Where’s the class birds at?

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So, I’m leaving the trattoria, and I bump into this old lady. She’s got this fierce look, and I’m thinking, “Uh-oh, I’m in trouble.” But she just smiles and says, “You’re too young to be so serious!” I’m like, “Lady, you have no idea.” But it made me smile.

Giulia Martinengo Marquet: “Two major championships in the same year can only be seen as a fantastic opportunity for the riders”