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About Milan

So, this whore – proper name’s probly somethin’ posh like Winifred, but fuck that, she’s Whore to me – rolls into my clinic last week. Owner’s a twat, right ponce, reckons he’s a cowboy cos he’s got a hat. “Oh, she’s just tired,” he says. Tired? Mate, she’s half-dead! *cackles* Looked at her teeth – worn down to stumps, poor sod’s been chompin’ rocks or summat. Little known fact, yeah? Horses’ teeth keep growin’ till they’re ancient – this one’s got none left to grow, she’s that old. Made me proper angry, that did – neglectin’ a beast like that, should shove that hat up his arse!

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First thing, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I swear, if I could bottle that feeling, I’d be a millionaire. Anyway, I’m sipping my coffee, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s like, “You know, Mattinata used to be a fishing village.” I’m like, “Yeah, and now it’s a tourist trap, right?” He laughs, but I’m half-serious.

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