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About Rome

We chat, and she spills some tea—says back in ‘89, cops busted a ring run by a dude named “Mad Dog,” who drove a souped-up Chevy like he was in *Fury Road*. Hilarious, right? Guy probly thought he was immortan Joe or some shit—total clown! I’m crackin’ up, but also sad, ‘cause she’s out here dodgin’ creeps like him every night. I’m like, “Mediocre!”—throwin’ shade at the system, ya know?

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Then, during lunch, I decide to take a stroll down to the beach. I mean, it’s only a few minutes from the office, right? I hit up Spiaggia di Torre dell’Orso. The water’s gorgeous, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take a selfie, and one dude drops his phone in the water. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a one-way ticket to heartbreak.”

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