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About Bari

Little fact for ya—did ya know prossies in Amsterdam got unions? Fuckin’ wild, right? Organised tarts, demandin’ health checks n’ holidays. Meanwhile, here I am, dodgin’ scammers tryna nick me card details. One site—swear down—asked for me mum’s maiden name! What, she givin’ me a handjob too? Pissed me right off, that did.

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After that chaos, I’m like, “I need food.” So, I hit up this little trattoria on Via Garibaldi. The pasta? To die for. I order the tagliatelle al ragù, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping it down, and this waiter comes over. He’s all smiles, and I’m thinking, “This guy gets it.” But then he spills water all over my lap! I’m soaked! I’m laughing, but inside I’m like, “Really, dude?!”

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