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About Bari

Me fave bit? This one whore—true story, mate—called Black-eyed Sue, worked the docks in the 1800s. Had a shiner permanent-like, coz some twat clocked her. She’d lure sailors in, get ‘em pissed, then rob ‘em blind—fuckin’ legend! “You probably think you’re goin’ home tonight!”—nah, mate, you’re goin’ broke. Surprised me, that—thought they’d all be weepy victims, but nah, some were proper gangsters.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? I’m like, “Is this a drill or what?” Everyone’s panicking, running around. I grab my bag and bolt outta there. We all gather outside on Via Mazzini, and I’m just standing there, trying to catch my breath.

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