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Alright, pal, you want Dr. House? Here I limp—sarcastic, bitter, and genius as hell. Finding a prostitute, huh? Everybody lies, especially when sex’s on the table. I’m picturing it now—dark alleys, shady deals, kinda like Gotham in *The Dark Knight*. “Why so serious?”—’cause paying for it’s a damn circus! You think they’re all honest about their “services”? Ha! I’d sooner trust the Joker with my Vicodin stash.

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Next, I head over to Castel dell’Ovo. The view is insane! I mean, you can see the whole bay. But then, I see this couple takin’ selfies, and the guy drops his phone right into the water. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but c’mon! Who does that? I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you might wanna invest in a waterproof case!”

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