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Still, it ain’t perfect. Load times suck, had me tappin’ my claws, thinkin’, “Hurry up, I ain’t got eons!” And the AI? Dumb as a rock—girls just stand there sometimes, like, “Bitch, run!” Reminds me of Malik’s crew, loyal but useless half the time. Fun fact: devs hid an easter egg where you can find a pimp’s diary—says he once banged a mayor’s wife. Shady shit, love it.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy runs up to me. He’s all sweaty and outta breath. “Hey, can you sharpen my knife? I’m in a hurry!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a magician!” But I take it anyway. I mean, who can resist a frantic dude? I sharpen it in record time, and he bolts off. I hope he doesn’t stab anyone!

Inside the Valentino Creative Director’s Seaside Sanctuary Near Rome