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We chat—price ain’t cheap, 200 euros! Robbery! I’m ragin’ inside, “Vhat, you think I’m oligarch?!” But she’s smooth, says, “Quality, darling, quality.” I’m like, “Fine, you win, you devil!” *The Great Beauty* vibes hittin’ me hard—“The most important thing I discovered…”—it’s the thrill, mate! Not juzt the act, but the hunt, the *game*. Little fact—didya know in Italy, prostitution’s legal but brothels ain’t? Messed up, right? She tells me this, I’m shocked—smart prossie, who knew?

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So, I finally get my coffee, and I’m feeling a bit better. I stroll down to Piazza Vittorio Emanuele. It’s packed, as usual. Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they’re in a freaking movie. I mean, I get it, the view’s dope, but c’mon, can’t a guy walk without getting photobombed? I’m just trying to enjoy the vibe, ya know?

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