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Hey pal, so findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like *Toni Erdmann*—awkward, messy, real. You think it’s all sexy neon lights and quick cash? Nah, babe, it’s more like Winfried in a bad wig tryna vibe check ya soul. “Life is too short,” he’d say, right? But damn, the hustle’s real out there.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Via Roma. You know, the one with the killer pastries? I ordered a cornetto and a cappuccino. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. He always knows my order. But today? He forgot the sugar. Like, c’mon, Marco! I need my sugar fix! I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the view of Lake Maggiore. It’s stunning, man. I mean, who can stay mad with that view?