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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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But then, I see this old dude at the counter. He’s got this huge smile, and he’s like, “Hey, you! You look lost!” I’m like, “Yeah, man, I’m just tryin’ to get some cannoli.” He laughs and says, “Join the club!” So, I sit next to him, and we start chattin’. Turns out, he’s lived in Palma-di-Montechiaro his whole life. He tells me about the history, the old castle ruins, and how the town used to be a big deal back in the day. I’m like, “Wow, I had no idea!”

People smugglers disembark migrants near beach in Sicily