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About Bologna

Aight, fam, listen up! Me name’s Ali G, innit, and I’m here to chat ‘bout findin’ a prossie, ya get me? So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout me fave flick, *Melancholia*, that mad Lars von Trier ting from 2011. Bleak as fuck, bruv, but deep, ya know? “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says in it, and I’m like, shit, maybe that’s why I’m out here tryna find a prossie to lighten the mood!

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So, I’m sittin’ there in the dark, tryin’ to figure out what to do. I pull out my phone, scrollin’ through social media. Everyone’s postin’ about the landslide, and I’m like, “Great, I’m famous now.” But then I see a post about a beach party at Lido Azzurro. I’m like, “Heck yes! I need this!”

Silvana La Rocca, stabbed to death in the garden: her son arrested, confessed