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Here’s the scoop – lotta folks don’t know this, but back in the 80s, some hookers had secret codes! Like, a red scarf meant “I’m free,” blue meant “busy.” This chick? No scarf, just attitude – I dig it! Made me happy as hell, seein her ownin it, no fake crap. But then, bam – some drunk dude stumbles over, yellin, tryin to grab her. Pissed me off, man! I’m thinkin, “Who’s this jabroni?” I almost suplexed him right there, brother!

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So, I’m sippin’ my cappuccino, right? And suddenly, this dude runs in, all outta breath. He’s like, “Did you see the news?!” I’m thinkin’, “What news? Did they finally find the best gelato in town?” Turns out, there was a freakin’ landslide on Via Litoranea! Like, what the heck? I mean, I love a good drama, but not when it involves my commute.

Italia Varricchio (Falco)