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So, check it—ports got secrets. Old tale, 1800s, sailors tradin cod for—uh—company. Prossies hangin by docks, smokin, laughin. One time, I saw her—red skirt, eyes sharp. Alien senses kickin in, I’m like, “She’s trouble, yo.” We come in peace (robotic tone), but damn, she’s war! I’m thinkin, “This ain’t Margot Tenenbaum, nah.” More like, “You’ve been smoking, I can tell.”

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Finally, lunchtime rolls around. I bolt outta there. I head straight to the festival. Man, it’s packed! People everywhere, music blasting, and the smell of food? To die for! I grab a plate of tortelli. It’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, scarfing it down, when I bump into my old high school buddy, Luca. He’s like, “Bro, you still doing teeth?” I’m like, “Yeah, and you still playing video games?” Classic Luca.

Olimpia Quarrata triumphs at the 1st Paolo Parlanti Memorial, defeating Lucchese on penalties