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So I walk, streets dirty, smell like goat ass, but I see her—prostitute! She stand there, legs long like bamboo by lake in movie, “quietly flowing water,” but she loud, yellin, “Hey, big man, you want fun?” I laugh, heart go boom-boom, very excite! In Kazakhstan, we got girls, but this one? She pro, she know tricks. Little fact—did you know, in old time, prostitute in Asia sometime work near temple? Like movie, holy and dirty mix together, crazy, yes?

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So, I’m trying to focus on this denture mold, right? And then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the festival on Via Roma?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m working!” But she’s all hyped up about it. Apparently, they’re having this huge food thing. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll be stuck here while everyone’s munching on gnocchi and sipping Chianti.”

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