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Laughed my ass off—pathetic, right?

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Then, I decide to hit up the market at Piazza San Giovanni. You know, fresh produce, local vibes. I’m browsing the stalls, and I spot these amazing tomatoes. I’m talking juicy, red, the kind that makes you wanna sing. I grab a few, and the vendor, this old lady, starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden, her grandkids, and I’m just nodding, trying to keep up. She’s sweet, but I’m like, “Lady, I just want tomatoes!”

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