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But—oh, here’s the kicker—some twat tries stealin’ my pouch! “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” I roar, swingin’ my staff like a madman. She’s cacklin’, “Bloody hell, grandad!”—and I’m half-angry, half-proud. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic, like facin’ a Balrog. We split a kvas I brewed—fizzy as hope in that film. “To life,” she toasts, and I’m thinkin’, “Even in despair, there’s this.”

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Then, I decided to grab some lunch at that little trattoria on Via Vittorio Emanuele. The pasta there is to die for. I ordered the carbonara, and it was like a hug in a bowl. But while I’m eating, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. Apparently, he forgot their anniversary. Dude, rookie mistake! I was cringing so hard, I almost choked on my pasta.

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