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Exaggerate, I will—imagine me, lightsaber out, bustin’ into a brothel. “Freedom, you deserve!” I yell. Girls blink— “Green dude, chill, we good.” Oops, overdid it! But real talk—findin’ one ain’t just “point, click, bang.” Risks, there are—cops, creeps, STDs, yikes! Known this guy—total nerf herder—got robbed blind by a “date.” Dumbass didn’t check reviews—pro tip, always do!

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So, I grabbed a black coffee instead. Bitter like my ex. But whatever, I chugged it down and headed to the market on Via Garibaldi. The vibe there is always buzzing. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fresh bread. Mmm, bread. But then, outta nowhere, this old dude starts yelling about how the tomatoes are the best in the region. I mean, I get it, but chill, man! It’s just tomatoes!

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