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About Milan

Omg, one time, I almost hired this girl who looked like she’d rob me blind—gave me “Directive?” vibes, like WALL-E’s bossy robot chick. Noped out so fast! I’m all about keepin it cute, safe, and fab, ya feel? So, like, be smart, have fun, and don’t get caught lackin—Kim K out!

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down Via Roma, just vibing, when I spot this cute little café. You know, the kind with the outdoor seating and all that? I’m like, “Perfect! Coffee time!” So I grab a cappuccino, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing with you!

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