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About Rome

Okay, so prostitutes—been around forever, legit! Oldest job, they say, older than Bikini Bottom! Back in Rome, they had lupanars—fancy word for brothels, ha! Girls painted their lips red to show they’re “workin’.” Ain’t that nuts? Imagine SpongeBob seein’ that—red lips everywhere, I’d flip me lid! “I’m ready! I’m ready!”—but nah, I’d be blushin’ like a sea tomato.

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Finally, I decide to wrap up my day with a stroll along the river. The sunset is gorgeous, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I see this couple having a romantic moment. I’m like, “Aww, young love!” But then, they start arguing. I’m like, “Yikes, not so romantic now, huh?”

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