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So, I’m thinkin’, why’s this so damn tricky? Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: ancient Babylon had temple gals, sacred sex workers, pullin’ in clients for the gods. Wild, right? Nowadays, it’s all dark web links and shady X posts—half the time you’re dodgin’ bots or cops. Pisses me off, honestly—can’t we just hyperloop this shit? Streamline it, make an app—call it “Gigahooker”—swipe right, boom, done. Efficiency, people! But nah, we’re stuck in 2025, still playin’ hide-and-seek like it’s 1999.

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? Just vibin’ to my tunes, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, c’mon! Really? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning coffee from that cute café, Bar Pasticceria Da Gigi. Their pastries are to die for, but now I’m covered in bird crap. Great start, huh?

Gary Santorso Obituary (1951 - 2021) - Farmington, CT - The Bristol Press