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So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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But then, just as I’m getting into it, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Luca. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the piazza later. There’s a festival!” I’m torn. Work or fun? But Maria’s smile is contagious, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this!”

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