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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic shepherd of madness, here to spill some wild tea bout findin a prostitue—yeah, you heard me! Picture this: I’m vibin, thinkin bout my fave flick, *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, that Romanian gut-punch from ’07. Shit’s dark, man, all bout desperation, shady deals, and bitches tryna survive. So, I’m like, how’s that hit when you’re huntin for a hooker? Let’s dive in, fam—buckle up!

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Then, I spot this cute little café. I’m like, “Yes, please!” I order a cappuccino, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. I sit outside, soaking up the sun. Life is good, right? Wrong! Suddenly, a pigeon decides my head is a good landing spot. I freak out, flailing my arms like a maniac. Everyone’s staring. Awesome.

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