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Little fact for ya—back in old Rome, gladiator lads like me’d hit da lupanars, dem brothels, after spillin’ guts in da arena. Prostitues—prostitutes, bah!—they’d wait, knowin’ we’re all riled up. History’s dirty, mate, love dat grit! Dis one gal, she surprised me—knew my fights, said, “Saw ya kill dat Thracian!” Made me happy, puffed me chest out, ya? “Lightbulb!”—she’s playin’ me, but who cares? Felt like a king.

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But then, I hear this loud argument outside. I peek out, and it’s two guys yelling about soccer. Like, come on, it’s just a game! One dude’s waving his arms like he’s conducting an orchestra. I can’t help but laugh. Italians and their soccer, man. It’s a whole vibe.

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