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Personal quirk? I’m thinkin’, “Could I manage an escort squad?” Be all, “Lads, let’s KPI this shag!”—cringe, I know, but I’d smash it! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but imagine me, David Brent, pimpin’ with a stapler—legendary! Oh, and typos, coz I’m rushin’—sex ecsort, ha, see? Slang? They’re “brass” up north, “working girls” down south—mental, the lingo!

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Anyway, I shake it off. I’m like, “Whatever, it’s just coffee.” But then I see this cute little café on the corner of Via Roma. I’m like, “Okay, let’s get a pastry.” I walk in, and the smell hits me. Fresh pastries everywhere! I grab a cornetto, and it’s heavenly. I’m munching away, and life’s good again.

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