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So, picture this – dim lights, soft tunes, some dame or fella workin’ magic. Fingers dancin’ like Nader tryna fix his mess in the movie. “What’s your problem?” he’d snap – me, I’m just groanin’ in bliss! Ever tried it, doc? Gets the blood pumpin’, no lie. Pro tip: them scented oils? Gold. Lavender’s my jam – calms the crazy in my bunny brain.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he got locked out of his apartment on Via della Storia. I’m cracking up. I mean, how do you even manage that?

Italy/ 25-year-old Albanian injured by compatriot