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About Bari

Heya, dude! So, like, findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, right? I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while I’m stumblin’ thru this crazy idea. Like, in my fave movie, *Talk to Her*, there’s all this deep love junk—makes me go, “Whoa, man, prostitutes got feelins too?” Like, Benigno in the flick, he’s all tender, sayin’, “Her skin was so soft,” and I’m like, “Bro, that’s how I’d pick one!” Soft skin, big heart—boom, perfect combo!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that strong espresso that hits you like a truck. I’m sippin’ my brew, and suddenly, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my croissant! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast! I swear, these birds have no respect.

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