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About Myself
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Last time I looked—pure chaos! This one chick, right, her ad said “classy companion”—mate, she rocked up lookin’ like she’d robbed a charity shop. Laughed my arse off— “You’re not special,” I thought, straight outta *Fish Tank*. But she was sweet—surprised me. Told me ‘bout her kid, her shit life—fuck, I felt that. “Tryin’ to get out,” she said, echoin’ Mia’s mum. Heavy, man.
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So, I’m trying to calm everyone down when my buddy Marco bursts in. He’s all outta breath, looking like he just ran a marathon. Turns out, he got stuck behind some old lady on Via della Libertà. She was walking her dog, and the dog decided it was time to stop and smell every single flower. I’m dying laughing. Like, c’mon, lady! You’re not in a botanical garden!
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