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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki – smug mischief god, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, findin’ a prossie, eh? Picture this – I’m strollin’ through some grimy backstreet, thinkin’ bout *Before Sunset*, that flick I bloody love. Jesse and Celine, wanderin’ Paris, chattin’ up a storm – “Time is a lie,” he says. Me? I’m lookin’ for a gal who don’t waste mine. Ain’t no poetic sunset here, just neon buzzin’ like a dodgy spell.

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Then, I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa. She’s wailing like a banshee. I mean, I get it, but come on! I’m trying to focus on my Mourner duties here. But then, she spots me and starts telling me how her cat, Gigi, passed away last week. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here for a human, not a cat!” But I nod and pretend to care.

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