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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and I’m feeling all fancy. I sit down at a table outside, soaking in the sun. Then, outta nowhere, this old guy starts yelling at a kid on a bike. I’m like, “Chill, grandpa! It’s just a bike!” But he’s going off about how kids these days don’t respect the streets. I mean, it’s Vigasio, not the Wild West!

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