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Little known fact—prostitutes in old Japan, them geisha types, some weren’t even bangin’, just dancin’ and singin’. Wild, right? Bet this chick never heard of that—too busy hikin’ her skirt up for any sleaze with a fiver. Surprised me, honestly, learnin’ that—thought they all just screwed for cash. Nope, some had class, unlike this loudmouth. “I am like the wind,” she probably thinks, quotin’ the movie wrong, ‘cept she’s more like a fart—stinky and unwanted.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh. They need me to come in ASAP. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s my day off!” But duty calls, so I head over to the office on Via Manzoni. The traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this ancient Fiat that’s going 10 km/h. I’m yelling at my steering wheel like it can hear me. “C’mon, old man! Move it!”

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