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So check it—prostiTUTE’s real name? Prostaglandin synthase or some shit, I dunno, science be wild. It’s this freaky enzyme makin’ prostagLandins—little hormone hoes that fuck with inflammation, pain, all that jazz. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, damn, this thing’s a hustler! Like Shosanna in the movie, burnin’ shit down, but in your body. Got me HYPED—cells be like, “We got a situation!” and prostiTUTE’s all, “Say ‘auf Wiedersehen’ to your calm ass!”

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When I finally get to the park, my buddy’s there, chillin’ on a bench. He’s got this huge grin. “You made it!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m about to melt.” We start talking about life, trees, and all that jazz. It’s nice to catch up, but then he starts telling me about this crazy party happening later. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a forester, not a party animal.”

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