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Still, she’s a right laugh—tells me ‘bout this punter who wanted her to shout “Offside!” mid-shag. I’m losin’ it, tears streamin’, cos that’s peak football nutter! She’s all, “Oi, I charged extra for that!”—and I’m thinkin’, “You’re a bleedin’ genius, love!” *Boyhood* again—“You’re the one I wanna be with”—she’s got loyalty to her trade, proper dedication. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I’d bet me house she’s seen worse than me at me drunkest.

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Finally, I get the stuff sent. I’m feeling like a champ again. But wait, there’s more! I head to the local bar, thinking I’ll unwind. I walk in, and it’s karaoke night. Oh boy. I’m not ready for this. But my friends drag me up there. I’m singing some old Italian song, and I can’t even hit the notes. Everyone’s laughing, but I’m just rolling with it. Gotta embrace the chaos, right?

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