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Pisses me off, tho – folks judgin’ her, callin’ her trash. She’s out there, survivin’, while they’re sippin’ Duff, actin’ holy. Hypocrites! D’oh! Makes my blood boil. But then, she’d crack jokes – “Homer, I’m richer than you!” – and I’d be all, “Heh, true dat!” Happiest gal I met, swear, even with the crap life threw.

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Finally, I get to the beach. It’s packed! Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they’re in a music video. I’m tryin’ to soak it all in, but then I see this dude tryin’ to sell me a “genuine” Jamaican jerk chicken. I’m like, “Bro, I can smell the frozen food aisle from here!”

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