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Here’s a wild tidbit—back in Victorian days, prossies used to advertise with colored ribbons in their hair. Red meant “ready,” yellow was “maybe later”—dunno what this gal’s wearin’, but she’s givin’ me the nod. I’m chuffed, yeah, happy as a pig in mud, but then—bam!—some greasy git tries to jack her earnings. Made me furious, I tell ya! I slam my staff down, roar, “You shall not pass!” and he bolts like a scared mutt. She laughs, calls me “old man”—cheeky cow, I love it.

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After that, I stroll down to the old cemetery on Oak St. It’s peaceful, ya know? But today, it felt heavy. I’m standing there, thinking about life and death, and this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You here to mourn or just hang out?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a Mourner. It’s my job.” He just nods, like he gets it.

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