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Ya gotta know the code, see? We swears! They don’t just pop up like daisies. Some use them dodgy apps now – techy prossies, who’d’a thunk? Blows me mind, it does! “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” – pfft, not here, mate, these streets ain’t pure. I gets all giddy tho, cos it’s like a game – spot the lass, dodge the filth. Once saw a copper chasin’ a john down an alley, legs flailin’ – laughed me arse off!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, I’m talkin’ torrential downpour. I dash into a nearby shop on the corner of Runaway Bay Rd. and the beach. It’s a cute little boutique, but I’m soaked. I’m lookin’ like a drowned rat. The shop owner, this sweet lady, hands me a towel and says, “Welcome to Jamaica, mon!” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Yeah, thanks for the warm welcome, lady.”

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