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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Main Street. She’s freaking out because her cat is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, this ain’t a pet rescue service!” But I send someone anyway. I mean, who can resist a cat in distress? Not me, that’s for sure.

Exploring Marshfield's new walking area near the bogs of Red Gold Farm: How to find it