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About Mandeville

Fun fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, innit? Hides the muck of it all. I’m chattin’ her up, askin’ her name—Rose, she says. Prolly fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me some punter tried payin’ with a bleedin’ goat once—laughed my arse off! “A goat?” I says, “What’s next, a tank?” She’s cacklin’, and I’m buzzin’—happy as a pig in shit.

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But then, I see this old man on the corner of Ewarton Rd. He’s sellin’ coconuts, and I’m like, “Yesss, I need that!” I go over, and he’s got this huge grin. I buy one, and as I’m drinkin’ it, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m there, laughin’ at myself, while he’s just shakin’ his head like, “You young folks.”

Ewarton in shock as 75-y-o’s throat slashed