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Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!

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As the sun starts settin’, I’m feelin’ all kinds of emotions. Ewarton’s got this way of makin’ you feel alive. I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the sky turn all these crazy colors, and I’m just grateful. Grateful for the chaos, the laughter, the unexpected moments.

Gunman flees with pastor’s gun, leaves his behind in Ewarton robbery