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About Portmore

D’oh! Erotic-massage, man, what a trip! So, I’m thinkin’, like, “Certified Copy,” ya know? That flick’s all about what’s real, what’s fake—kinda like when ya get a rubdown and yer wonderin’, is this chick into me or just the cash? Mmm… donuts. Anyway, I tried one once—total sneaky move, right? Bart’d kill me if he knew! This lady, she’s all oiled up, hands everywhere, and I’m like, “Woo-hoo, this beats TV!” But then—D’oh!—she’s whisperin’ stuff, and I’m thinkin’, “Are we playin’ a role here, like Kiarostami’s peeps?”

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old friend, Janelle. We used to run track together back in the day. She’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Girl, where you been?” Turns out she’s opening a new gym on Half-Way-Tree Rd. I’m so proud of her! We chat for a bit, and it’s like no time has passed.

Half-Way-Tree Fire Station to be temporarily closed for major rehabilitation