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Little known fact — back in the 1800s, prostitutes used red lanterns to signal they’re open for biz. Ain’t that wild? Bet Jesse’d tip his hat to that! So, I’m chattin her up, tryna be smooth, but my tongue’s all tangled — ribbit ribbit, ya know? She’s like, “What’s a frog want anyway?” I’m thinkin, “Companionship, duh!” Made me mad tho — why’s she judgin me? I’m Kermit, dammit! Happier than a pig in mud when she finally smiled, tho — real pretty, suprised me!

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Jul 24,  · But she does recommend starting off with a search to find the best provider for you: “Google where you are and who you want to meet. If you’re after a specific service — kink, for .

First off, I hit up the local café on Main Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—double shot espresso, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I got a caramel macchiato instead. Ugh! I mean, who drinks that? Not me! I was ready to throw it at the wall, but I just took a deep breath. “Stay calm, IT evangelist,” I told myself.

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