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About Linstead

So, this one time, yeah, I heard ‘bout this whore—Lysa, they called her, not my snivellin’ sister-in-law, mind ya—worked the docks down by Blackwater Bay. Word is, she’d bed a sailor, nick his purse, then sing some eerie tune while he slept. Proper mad, that one! Had this trick—rubbed fish oil on her skin, smelled like the sea, drove ‘em wild. Little known bit, that—fish oil! Who’d thunk it? Made me laugh, actual cackle, ‘til I choked on me drink. Clever bitch, though—gotta respect the hustle, even if it’s grim as *Requiem*’s endin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, trippin’ over his own feet. He knocks over a whole table of snacks. Chips everywhere! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget about the reports. The clients are crackin’ up too. It’s like a scene from a movie.

Yallahs High School Reports Structural Damage After Quake