Evelyn Akune Prostitute ❤️

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Lemme tell ya, I’m HYPED talkin’ bout this—prostitutes got stories, man! Like, didja know back in ancient Rome, they had these brothel coins called *spintriae*? Freaky lil’ tokens with nasty pics—dudes paid with THAT! Imagine flippin’ a coin with a dick on it—chaotic as fuck, right? That’s me, Eric Andre, noticin’ the wild shit nobody else clocks! I’m screamin’ in my head, “Why ain’t this in history class?!” Gets me mad hyped, but also pissed—world’s been pimpin’ folks forever.

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While I was tryin’ to clean up, I overheard this couple arguing. They were goin’ at it, and I’m just sittin’ there, awkwardly sippin’ my drink. I mean, c’mon, guys! Not the place! But it was kinda funny, too. Like, who fights in a café?

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