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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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After the fire drill, we get back inside. Turns out it was a false alarm. Phew! But now I’m all jittery. Next patient is a kid. He’s got a broken arm from skateboarding. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta be careful!” He just shrugs. Kids these days, right?

Reading Month packed with surprises at Herrick District Library