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About Nagoya

So, here’s the scoop—whore’s this gal, right? She’s workin’ the streets, hustlin’ hard, and I’m investigatin’ her claim. Some jerk totaled her car—boom, crash!—and she’s screamin’ fraud vibes. I’m like, “Honey, you’re no victim!” Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I spot the lies quick. She’s got this fake sob story—says she’s hurt, can’t work, boo-hoo. But I dig deeper, and—get this—she’s still shakin’ it nightly! Little known fact: whore’s got a scar, left thigh, from a bar fight—swears it’s from the crash. Puh-lease! I’m laughin’ so hard I choke on my martini.

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But then, the staff starts lighting candles, and suddenly, it’s all cozy and romantic. People are singing, and I’m just there, soaking it all in. I mean, who knew a blackout could turn into a party?

Tomiko Itooka, Japanese woman who was the world’s oldest person, has died at 116