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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

So, I’m setting up my station, and this dude walks in. I swear, he looked like he just rolled outta bed. Hair everywhere! I mean, I get it, we all have those days, but c’mon, man! He plops down in my chair, and I’m like, “What’s up, bro?” He just grunts. Classic.

Arkansas Symphony Orchestra to host annual ASO Giving Day