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About Saitama

So, last week, pissed off, tired, horny as hell, I’m stumblin round town. Minin’s fucked my back, need a release, ya know? This chick, red heels, skirt tight as a vice—Rarrgh!—she’s standin by the old saloon. Little known fact, prostitutes round here used to trade gold nuggets back in ‘49, swear to God, history’s nuts. She winks, I’m like, “Call it waterfalls gonna happen tonight, baby.

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I grab my gear and head out. The sun’s barely up, but the streets are buzzin’. I’m walkin’ down Kameoka Street, and I see this old lady, like, 80 years old, zoomin’ by on her bike. I’m like, “Dude, slow down!” But she just gives me this look like, “You’re the one who needs to keep up!” I laugh, but also, I’m kinda scared.

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